So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
