We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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