Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
