id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
