Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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