I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
