just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
