I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
