Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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