That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
