we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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