..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
