They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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