I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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