It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
