u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
