yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
