Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Less talking, more tequila
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
