I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
