Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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