So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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