he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
