Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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