ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
