DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
