The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
