Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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