This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
