Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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