Where are you?
In a non slutty way
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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