Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
