i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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