Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you didnt know i had herpes?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
