I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
