I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
