I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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