Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
