I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
