she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
