Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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