Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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