I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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