I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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