Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
