In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
