We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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