seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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