Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
