During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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