Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
