I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
that is very illegal...i love you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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